My journey in self-confidence starts here:

As a child I was diagnosed with a hearing impairment, which led to me being given a label both formally and informally as DIFFERENT. This affected my early childhood relationships with my family and friends and I couldn't help but notice that I was viewed by others as not as capable as my peers. I felt very alone, misunderstood, and less than among peers and family. To make matters worse, I was placed in special education classes which only added to feelings of inadequacy and alienation.

I didn’t believe I was intelligent or even capable of excelling in school, and my confidence and self-esteem suffered greatly as a result. I never attempted to do well academically and my poor grades reinforced my inner self-sabotage. Through out my childhood, I hid myself, fearing I would look stupid. This affected every single part of my life and influenced the choices I made. During my adolescence I spent more time trying to numb the pain than dealing with it.

Despite these feelings of low self-confidence, I somehow decided to attend community college and to my own amazement, earned an A in my first semester. This was a defining moment in my life and gave me the shot of confidence I’d never had before. I decided I wanted to prove to myself I was indeed smart enough and started focusing more on school and less on trying to numb my pain. I worked harder than ever before, and realized that when my focus changed from “not being good enough” to “I can do this”, it affected every other part of my life.

It became clear that I was living an unfulfilling life and I yearned for more in life. I began to make some positive changes. The confidence I was getting from achieving success in school helped me to slowly pull away from friends who were pulling me down and not growing with me.  

As I grew, I saw how much I had abandoned myself over the years. I had developed a pattern of not following my heart and doing what everyone else was doing. I had also developed a bad habit of talking negatively to myself. I was able to see how my relationship with myself was negative and affecting every area of my life. I had put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. When I did not meet those expectations the negative self talk became loud and my confidence would drain. It was a vicious cycle I wanted to break. I wanted a better relationship with myself and wanted to enjoy my life more. I knew I had a choice I could start the negative self-talk and blame myself or I could empower myself.

I made a commitment to take a new approach, I promised not to blame myself for what went wrong and began to practice positive inner self-talk. I continually made this a habit and started to read self-improvement books. I noticed it was working I was starting to learn so many things about myself and how I got in my own way. I also saw how my struggle with confidence held me back in so many areas of my life. I was frustrated by this and no longer wanted to be a victim of my own self-doubt and low self-esteem.

I began taking care of my emotional and spiritual self by working with therapists, spiritual healers, and coaches. I took personal development workshops and seminars and continued to grow myself from within and expand my view of who I am and what I am capable of achieving. Yes, sometimes there were bumps in the road, and some of my old fears and beliefs of inadequacy came up. But this time I was equipped to handle those fears. I knew I could achieve what I wanted once I put my mind to it. My new-found confidence affected my life rapidly. I made new friends that reflected the new changes I had made. I developed more interests and made time to pursue them.

I also received a master's degree from New York University school of clinical social work.  Shortly after that I got certified as a coach from the Life Purpose Institute.  As my confidence grew I started to take bigger and bigger risks and was amazed in myself and what I accomplished. 

Along the way, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one suffering from low self-confidence, low self-esteem and making poor life choices as a result. I saw there were many, many other people who struggled with similar issues.

What also struck me is that I had to go far and wide to find answers to my confidence issues. Nowhere was this information in ONE place and I remember thinking years ago that I would have done anything and paid anything to find a solution, a process to go through that would create lasting results in self-confidence. Nowhere was there a solution for young women like myself who yearned to have a different life, a better life.

I have since used my own experience and transformation to create A Confident Inspired U™ system, a series of 5 steps to dramatically shift a person’s confidence level and therefore change their life. In this program, I take clients through a process of owning and defining where they are in their confidence level, eliminating the confidence drainers in their life, changing their negative self-talk and behaviors, making sound decisions that empower them, and learning to boost their confidence in any situation.

The results have been outstanding. Today, I have a private coaching practice and have taught countless clients on becoming the confident “them” that they’d always wished they had been. As a result, they’ve changed their lives around, began making more money, attracting better opportunities and relationships, becoming more assertive and feeling more empowered.

Are you ready to do the same?   Start Today!

Melisa Despina Milonas

MSW & Confidence Coach